Restraining orders (also called orders of protection or protective orders) are often referred to as “quasi-criminal.” That’s because while they issue from civil courts, consequences of their real or merely alleged violation can have criminal consequences for defendants, for example, imprisonment.
As a thought exercise, consider when the last time was you heard of some sleazy fat cat, say, appearing before the court on criminal charges and pleading, “Did I do it? Yer goddam right I did!”
Never happens.
Here’s what you inevitably hear instead: “My client categorically denies the charges.”
Yet the same person who pled innocent is never heaped with additional penalties for his or her plea if s/he’s later deemed guilty.
The restraining order defendant, a civil court defendant, is denied free counsel, denied time to prepare a defense, denied presumption of innocence, denied more than a few minutes to present what defense s/he may be able to throw together, and generally denied any orientation whatever.
This helps the process hum along efficiently.
The defendant may complain that some accusation or other is one-sided or half-true. S/he may think a judge is going to be sensitive to a here’s-the-whole-story approach. But this just presents the judge with the task of trying to tweeze important facts out of a swamp, and judges are notoriously lazy, inept, and indifferent.
This post imagines an alternative approach that takes its cue from criminal court.
What if the defendant, instead of trying to clarify, simply denied the allegations?
Q: “Do you know the plaintiff?”
A: “No I do not.”
Q: “Did you [call/text/email/visit] the plaintiff?”
A: “No I did not. The claim is false.”
Etc.
If, for instance, the defendant were married to the plaintiff, denying any familiarity with him or her could pose some credibility problems. So a defendant taking this approach would have to be selective in what s/he denied.
The writer only imagines that were a defendant to deny everything s/he could and propose alternative explanations for any material evidence presented (“forged,” “faked,” “spoofed,” or what have you), it would shift the burden of proof onto the shoulders where it belongs, namely, the accuser’s.
That would be novel indeed.
Copyright © 2022 ProtectiveOrderVictims.com
*The writer can report that deflections by plaintiffs work very well: “I don’t recall that” and “That doesn’t sound like me” and “I don’t remember it that way.”
George Poole
March 10, 2022
I have been with My Wife the Love of my Life since she was 14 and I 16. we have been together almost 39 years. Married 31 + years. We have six kids together. I sm 55 and she is 53. I Live her and the kids with all My heart. Seven years sgo I destroyed a child predators home and put everything in my wifes name and we got a fake separation to protect our assets from the mill I did in damage to his home. It cost me a hundred grand in legal fees and I had to give the perp 70 grand for direct restitution to get a deal of one misdemeanor count of vandalism and five years probation. Five years later my wife has a new left winger friend who convinces her since they are both going through life’s big change they would both take out restraining orders and teach both their husbands a lesson of who is in power. My wife claimed there was never any physical abuse or any threats.She claimed 38 years of Emotional abuse. She told me do not get a lawyer and I will not Divorce you! She told the Judge She was afraid of me and I own a lot of firearms as does she. We live in the mountains and have bears break in to our homes on a regular basis. We believe in the second amendment and our right to bear arms. Her new leftist friend told her she could use the Guns and a restraining order to get 100% custody and better position herself in assets if we Divorce. She also went to a women’s feminist group in our rural county and they helped her destroy me. I have a head injury from falling off our roof In 1995 and I trusted My wife of my youth and had put everything in her name. She got the DV protective order and the filed for Divorce saying the fake separation used seven years prior was real and I own nothing and everything is hers. We never actually separated because it was we only did it ti protect our assets. We continued living each other and sleeping together every night and raising our kids and did nothing different until she git the restraining order 19 months ago. She then started throwing my things away and putting our community property in storage and giving me the bill after 38 + years together. Her attorney lied to the judge and said I have had seven years to retrieve my things but that is a lie because there never was a separation ever. The judge said I need to go back to the original county where we filed the fake separation and get a motion to set aside. At the same time she went to the DA and filed three counts of Violating a restraining order. She contacted me several times crying and saying ai Destroyed our 38 year Love affair. I felt for her because I totally Love her and our kids. I said on three occasions That I Love her and our kids and I really want to work things out. It was her birthday and I said we could talk about this and That I really Love her. She contacted me! She had permission to record our conversations and they said I violated the restraining order on three occasions. The reporting Deputy said I was polite and caring and not aggressive or angry and not violent or threatening. Still they charged me with three counts of violating a restraining order. I thought we were allowed peaceful contact. Now I am taking the violations to trial. I have not been allowed to see my kids in 19 months and since I had a head injury I was the one who had always stayed home and home schooled the kids and spent the most time with them. My wife and I have never been with anyone else, No infidelity No abuse no abandonment. We are both Christians and I do not want to Divorce and destroy our family. The feminist rural services group told her I am a gun owner and I Will shoot her and our kids and it will be her fault because she did nothing about it. I have never been violent with my Wife or kids ever. The restraining order was given out not because I was violent but to stop anything violent from ever happening because she claimed she was afraid. Since the restraining order they will not alliw me to see my kids and I have been homeless as she controls all of our money and assets and we own three homes but she controls everything. We live in the Seirra Nevada Mountains and I was freezing to death living in my vehicle in the snow in Tahoe for the second winter. I moved into one of our cabins in Tahoe and she lives with our kids in a 3300 sq. ft. home on a golf coarse. She has a judges order to have me arrested for being at our cabin. It is all half mine but she is claiming it is all hers. The sheriffs office in the county where I am in the cabin dies not want to put me out in the snow and dies not try hard to find me at the Cabin. I am waiting on the Motion to set aside. Then the other county Judge who issued the restraining order and is doing the divorce will see her attorney is lying. I talk to my kids for 20 minutes once a week and even though our divorce has not gone to trial they tell me she gas a boyfriend. She is 53 and the 33 year old roofer who worked on our roof an ex felon drug user alcoholic who was convicted of a violent crime is with my wife and kids. He is a felon in my home around my Guns and Ammo. She says im a danger yet has a violent felon around her and my kids. Before all this My wife of 38 years was the most innocent angel who I thought would be a friend of God. Now she is lying and using a restraining order to take away my 2 nd amendment rights and keep me from my kids. She was able to do all this using the violence against women act and no facts or charges. All of this was done by her leftist friend telling her how to use allegations and accusations with no proof and no facts.I have had all my rights as a free American citizen and I have had my Wife and kids taken away, lost my homes and my assets and money and everything I own. I am illegally staying in our cabin with no electricity, no gas no water just a couch and a wood stove with no wood. I am freezing with my Alaskan Malamute pup. I have lost everything and had no trial and had no representation in court.No jury. These women are coached by feminist county non profit women’s groups like Plumas Rural Services to destroy the father and take him out of the family.They convinced My wife I am dangerous because I an a gun owner. This is gun control and confiscation using restraining orders as a weapon. They have destroyed our family and destroyed us financially and convinced my wife I am dangerous and unstable when I have loved and cared for her and was with her every night fir 38 years. I never hurt her or the kids and the worst thing was we argued over the raising of our girls. My Life and My wife’s life and our kids lives have been destroyed by Anti Gun activist groups like Plumas Rural services. They brainwashed my Wife and destroyed our family to take away our gun rights. I Love My wife and Kids and I forgive her and just want to be eith our kids and try to work things out. I stand for a Christian Godly Marriage and want My kids and rights back. These restraining order laws are bring abused to carry out agendas if anti American anti constitution groups. No one wants violence against Women or kids or anyone. These restraining Laws are abusive and unconstitutional. You are accused and convicted With no representation and No jury. You lose custody and you constitutional rights and you lose you family and your home and all your assets and money and you are automatically guilty for three to five years and lose your life and have everything destroyed with no trial no due process. It makes our legal system a complete joke like some banana republic.
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Todd Greene
March 7, 2022
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds predictably knotted and horrific. I could try to sort this into a digested narrative if the person were willing, though it wouldn’t necessarily receive the readership it rightly deserved. Maybe something here could entice someone else, though, who had better resources.
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Andrew Flores
March 4, 2022
There was a post on Reddit a few months ago pertaining to this subject that I’d wish you’d write about in detail. The person who posted it would respond to comments and say a little more each time and leave us with a cliffhanger.
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