A recent commenter observed that the “abuse industry” is a goldmine that no one who benefits from it has any motive to oppose, including judges and lawyers.
There are exceptions—attorneys Gregory Hession and David Heleniak are examples—but in general the commenter is right. Civil rights groups like the ACLU and the Southern Poverty Law Center have a defining investment in women’s rights, and restraining orders are “women’s law.” So their sensitivity to procedural abuse is profoundly limited, also.
The Academy is feminist-dominated. You’ll find no open sympathy there. Feminists hold political sway, whatever their numbers actually are and regardless of whether theirs are majority positions or minority ones. Higher education is a political milieu. Professors who publicly voice qualms with feminist doctrine are few. (Not that long ago, a Harvard president was driven out of office for candidly proposing that men and women were different.) Mainstream media are pressured into conformity with the favored views of the “intelligentsia” (or what’s sometimes called the “East Coast establishment”), and these favored views are feminist views.
Outspoken female critics who represent your side—and there are several stellar ones—may have personal motives, like affiliation with a set of political/family values, cornering a market demographic to enhance sales of books they’ve authored or services they offer, or carving out a literary niche for themselves in the popular press. Alternatively, they may be intellectually offended by the direction feminism has taken; they may feel betrayed by a cause they formerly championed. They oppose the source of your injury, and they’re to be esteemed for that, but they can’t afford to make an investment in you.
Finally, even forums on the Internet that address restraining order and other types of prosecutorial abuses may be jealous of “competing” voices; they have a brand that they’ve invested in and a particular ideology they espouse.
These are among the reasons why there is no common front.
None of this means that any or all of the aforementioned couldn’t be moved to take up your cause, but to attract their interest, you would need to make a splash. This requires loud action that attains a measure of legitimacy, and this is probably only possible if individuals unify—in a campaign, for example, or a class action.
The solitary complainant who can’t brandish a court judgment that exonerates him or her of foul accusations is an iffy investment. Nobody knows you. Too, the person who understands where you’re coming from but is mired in his or her own hell will only have a modicum of attention to spare you. Alliance toward a common goal that raises the hopes of all those involved could reward the individual, but to realize such an alliance requires action, and it requires action that aims to attract power to itself.
There is value in registering your complaint, anywhere and in any way, because more stories translate to greater awareness (which also encourages others to step forward and share their travails). To break the chokehold of ambivalence and resignation, though, requires the kind of action that grabs headlines, and that requires community and a concerted effort.
Only success attracts popular support.
Copyright © 2015 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
*Here is an example of a campaign that resonated.
Miriam Hirshberger
October 1, 2015
I just received the judgment from the appeals court in regard to the injunction that they re affirmed against me in my case with M. Despite the factvthat he was deeply in lovecwith me the court found that I was harassing him. I am so heartbroken as I guess thisvmeans even sfter thecinjunction is lifted I can never see or contact him again right? I am stunned and bewildered.
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Moderator
October 1, 2015
I’m sorry. I wouldn’t trust this man again, but I doubt the superior court ruling would have lengthened the term of the order.
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sweetsurrender922
October 1, 2015
Totally agree with you on your views!! Even though I am a woman, I’d stand right next to any man who was falsely accused as I have seen my share of it. Narcissists come in both genders and are equally convincing with their web of deceptions that are easily used to con even the entities that have been trained to recognize sociopaths and manipulators.
I’m all for the power in numbers. The more stories that are publicly told, the more we can allign together. There is power in numbers and a statement needs to be made to attract the powers that be that have the ability to change legislation. I vote for the class action lawsuit.
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Miriam Hirshberger
October 8, 2015
I totally agree. In the main though I see this as a system that women take unfair advantage of. In my case the man was manipulated by the moderator’s accuser’evil twin who calls herself Athena. Yep. A fallen angel for sure. The sad thing is that even his ife when she as alive warned him about her and her tendency towards evil machinations. She had no problem bad mouthing him to me and stabbing me in the back. In his defense he is in full blown psychosis from Paranoid Schizophrenia. Worse though was the lower court judge who has become known as “ex parte Mary Hamm”. I was asked if I had a question near the end of the proceedings but eas do dumbfounded all I knew to say eas that I had a statement about his mental health..so now this man and O are separated for another five months when we could have been married and in Israel by now. If the suicidal depression lifts I will be there by spring of next year. And hopefully my heart won’t give out..M is alone here with no one but a disabled adult stepson. A has cp and is c
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sweetsurrender922
October 1, 2015
Reblogged this on sweetsurrender922 and commented:
Absolutely right on this view!! The ONLY way to attract power is to align ourselves together, for all of us to share our stories publicly and utilizing any of the resources that we have available such as this forum and any form of media within our 1st Amendment rights. I’m all for the Class Action and think the sooner the better!!! This is not right and these people with false allegations need to be held accountable and sustain consequences from their misguided and malicious actions.
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