Both questions in the title have a common answer, which I’ll illustrate by allegory.
When I was about 20, I worked next to the residence of an aged woman who kept a Rottweiler on a chain in her yard. The dog lived on the tie-out all hours of the day and probably had all of his life.
After I’d observed his situation for months and saw it never changed, I determined to offer to fence in the woman’s property for her. Our business had some unused rolls of chain link that wouldn’t be missed.
I knocked on the woman’s door and explained my interest. She said she’d come out and talk to me. While I waited, the dog approached. I knelt down to greet him. He lunged at my face, tore my nose, and then clamped down on the arm I raised protectively, crushing my radial nerve. I kicked him off and drove myself to the emergency room. If he hadn’t been on a chain, it would have been an ambulance transporting me there. It would still be eight or 10 months before I recovered the use of my left hand, brief as the attack was.
The dog had been mistreated, and he was insane. When I returned to Tucson after leaving for a time to rehabilitate, I learned he’d mauled two little girls and was destroyed. (I passed the woman on the road not long after. She smiled and waggled her fingers at me, and then scowled when I stared at her coldly.)
Question: Who was to blame?
People are no different from dogs. If you force them to live with undeserved privations, whether cruelly or just irrationally, they lose it. This is the answer to the questions in the title.
Calling male victims of abuse, abuse that has its roots in gender dogma, “crazy”—as the man does whose writings I panned in the last post—isn’t necessarily wrong. But driving people crazy and then blaming them for it does kind of make you a monster.
If I then call you a monster, does that mean I’m insensitive? The conclusion is ridiculous.
Consider this story of female violence that was submitted to the blog yesterday:
Hi, I just wanted to share my story for all the other guys who have been victims of vengeful women. I have had two restraining orders placed on me now. The second one is pending…. The first one was dismissed because it was a lie. The girl used it to kick me out of our apartment and to punish me. That was in 2004.
It has caught up with me since then.
In 2010, a guy who was jealous and wanted my girl used his private investigator credentials to pull my records. He found the [dismissed] restraining order and told my girl, who promptly left me.
I am currently married to a woman who has been hitting me, shoving me, knocking me over, and physically keeping me trapped in my own apartment. After having enough, I told her that I wanted a divorce and to go live her life (but really I love her and don’t want to leave her).
She left the next day and then called me a few days later and said she was going to come home. We argued and I yelled that if she attacked me again, I’d call the police immediately. That night when I came home, there were three police cruisers there (mind you, this is three days after the incident). The police escorted her along with my parents to help her get her stuff from the apartment. […]
My mother is a drama queen and always has been. She gets in fights with people in public and was kicked out of her family for spreading lies about them. When my wife asked to be taken home (she was staying with my parents whom she promised never to talk to), my mother told her about the restraining order I had over 10 years ago. I’m sure my mother embellished as she always does. She frightened Diana, and my mother called the cops.
That Monday, my mother brought her to the courthouse to file the restraining order. Diana did not stop her, and Diana even called me, and I heard this new tone in her voice, a tone of righteousness, like she was talking to a child she was about to punish. […] The next day, the police were beating down my door and served me the notice (that’s today).
I have no doubt that I will win this case, but just as the last case caught up with me…how do I explain two cases? This may ruin my reputation for life. I mean surely if you’ve had two cases brought against you, you did something wrong. You must be guilty, right? But I’m not. The first case actually brought on the second case, and in both cases it was the women who were hitting me, not me hitting them or even threatening them. […]
This man says he was battered by two women who petitioned restraining orders against him as a further form of assault (a power play). “They do it because they’re emotional disasters and want to punish,” he offers. He’s right. The system panders to impulse (and often rewards it).
Now consider that the blogger, Tom Boggioni a.k.a.“TBOGG,” criticized in the last post for a 2014 commentary on “MRAs” published on RawStory.com, popped out a piece two days ago telling men they should never strike a woman—as if anyone who would strike a woman will have some sort of moral awakening because Tom pronounced he shouldn’t. Please. (If pieces like his do more than make their male authors look good to their female audience members, it’s lost on me. They pander, and feminists eat it up.)
A man like the one in the account above, who has tolerated violence from women without raising his hand even in self-defense, has been punished for his tolerance by having cops pound on his door and being dragged into court to stand accused. He’s been represented as an abuser—to compound the indignities of being battered—and the implications of the representation are alone enough to damage him…indefinitely. (The first order against the man, which cost him a relationship, was thrown out of court. Note: Even when the court acknowledges allegations are groundless…it doesn’t matter, because the damning implications are preserved. Only one state in the nation, Tennessee, has a law on the books that enables a dismissed restraining order to be expunged.)
Will the guy in the story become the “embittered, divorced white man with anger issues” that TBOGG and his fellows mock? Who knows?
But would you blame him if he did? More significantly, if you did blame him, who would the real monster be?
Copyright © 2015 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
*What writers who contemn MRA rhetoric seem to miss is that it’s not violent. It may be unsavory—it may be downright nasty—but its aggressiveness is passive. If the authors of MRA rhetoric (or what’s held up as exemplifying MRA rhetoric) were actually the violent bullies that many of them have probably been represented to be in courtrooms, is this the form their anger would assume…words? Put another way, what form would their anger take if they weren’t the violent bullies that many of them have probably been represented to be? That’s right…words.
Matthew S. Chan
July 10, 2015
This probably isn’t going to win me too many fans but I call it as I see it. It seems many people want to blame the restraining order for their problems. I don’t buy into that. I have said it is certainly inconvenient and a stain but to say it “ruins lives” is not an argument I buy into automatically. Every case is different.
Assuming I read it correctly, this guy somehow connects with one woman in 2004 and gets a restraining order against him.
And then the guy is in another relationship relationship, and because of an old invalid restraining order, another woman leaves him?
And then he gets married to a woman that he says was “hitting me, shoving me, knocking me over, and physically keeping me trapped in my own apartment.” WTF. What he says is in the plural. This is happening many times.
And then he has a mother who is a drama queen who sides with the wife to call the police and help her get a restraining order against her own son? And now there is another restraining order to fight?
Am I the only person in this community that sees a problem that this IS NOT really a restraining order issue? It is this guy being screwed up and getting involved with the wrong women on the wrong terms. The restraining order hits are a manifestation of being with him being screwed up thus attracting screwed up women. This guy has serious self-esteem/self-confidence issues. The guy needs to look in the mirror, not the legal system.
No way I would let any woman slap/hit me. It would be the one and only time and I would be out the door. It is abnormal and relatively rare to encounter women to engage in physical violence.
I have to tell you, this story is NOT a restraining order problem. It is a bad radar, self-esteem issue where this guy is not getting respect from his women or he is choosing women that are seriously messed up.
He is confident he will defeat the 2nd restraining order. Well good for him. I will bet any amount of money it won’t be his last restraining order he gets in his lifetime. He will be battling restraining orders all his life if he doesn’t get his head straightened out.
For this particular case, the restraining order process is not root of the problem. He is and he needs to start working on himself.
I understand this website is dedicated to RO issues but that doesn’t mean that all RO issues are invalid. Or when shitty RO’s are issued, that the person getting it didn’t have some level of responsibility to begin with.
Some RO victims become victims because they were stupid. Just like I was stupid for getting overly involved and taking on SOMEONE else’s fight, otherwise it would never have happened. Yes, I had a shitty PPO against me but I had a role in it and I am cognizant of my part to not make the same type of mistake again.
Seriously, if discussions don’t involve some level of personal responsibility, NO ONE will ever be sympathetic or give support. It will be like dealing with battered women. All kinds of people want to help battered women get out of their situations but often the battered women won’t speak out or too afraid to get out. And if some outsider tries to take action to help and go after the man, then the battered woman won’t prosecute, defends the man beating her for screwed up reasons. Yes, the men should absolutely not beat women. But the women don’t help it and in some cases enable it.
Complaining about men beating women is one issue. How about teaching women have better radar and self-esteem to not get involved with screwed up men?
The guy seems confident he will and has defeated prior and current RO’s. How about this guy learning how to run his life and select better women so he doesn’t get any more RO’s?
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Moderator
July 10, 2015
This is the end of the comment:
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Matthew S. Chan
July 10, 2015
There are MANY things that permanently affect our lives (including my own PPO case and other not-so-happy incidents in my life). Some are random and terrible like getting hit by lightning, being wounded in war, getting a disease, being a victim of random violence, etc. However, getting into screwed up relationships with screwed up people is almost entirely voluntary and don’t suddenly happen. Some people simply have a terrible radar system and “somehow” always manage to find and get involved with screwed up people.
I have been single a long time and know many single and divorced people. There are all kinds of unhappy relationship stories but I am going to tell you, they don’t involve MULTIPLE restraining orders or having someone become physically battered, etc. This is extreme.
The guy is telling the story so one assumes he is telling a story that would tell be favorable to himself. Given this, I (along with other people) view his narrative as a whole not just zero in on the RO. The restraining order is but one component of the overall narrative. To most “normal” people reading the story, the RO is NOT the central issue. It’s the screwiness of the relationships.
Pragmatically, It doesn’t matter to me what the guy does or how others want to view the story. If people want to blame the RO as the central issue, I say good luck with that and people have the right to self-delusional. But I can tell you that going through life blaming something ELSE for your own choices is a recipe for more “dramatic” and screwy relationships.
Honestly, I almost didn’t reply to this thread because it was so statistically improbable that these incidents were entirely random and the fact that he agreed to be in all of these very dramatic relationships. Many people will be victims of life because they lack the skills or insight in dealing or avoiding with screwed up people. Most people learn over time. Some learn faster than others.
RO’s (even the Linda Ellis situation) don’t generally show up spontaneously. I along with millions of other single people have had unhappy, failed relationships. Most don’t lead to being a battered partner or getting RO’s because MOST people know to get the hell out of a bad relationship before it gets that far.
This guy appears to me as someone who needs to improve is radar and life skills, in general.
I know you don’t choose the RO stories that come your way. You make do with what you get. However, this is why relationship type of RO’s often get little sympathy because all relationships have a voluntary component. It doesn’t make it right that RO’s get wrongfully issued but at some point people need to wake up and smell the coffee and see the big picture.
The best way to fight domestic RO’s is to RECOGNIZE and AVOID screwy people way before it gets too involved and out of control.
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Moderator
July 11, 2015
I don’t disagree that Daniel may be attracted to qualities that bode ill, but something his story in this post captures is how diseased the dogma is we’ve been fed.
You might be able to get away with directing your chidings to a woman who’s been serially attracted to violent men. If you said, however, that she brought it on herself and wasn’t a victim at all, there are many people who would be outraged. For a woman to say, I’ve had to get restraining orders against both the men I was married to (or something similar) wouldn’t stir anyone to suspicion or rebuke.
So there’s a firm double-standard in place.
Then there’s someone like Daniel, who has been gentlemanly and observed all of the feminist-prescribed protocols and only been punished for it. Based on the stories I’ve listened to, for Daniel or someone like him to do what you would do wouldn’t necessarily have the desired effect.
A woman behaves violently. You could show her the door, sure, but is that a guaranteed end on it? We know this isn’t a rational, self-accountable person.
Scenario 1: Man says, “Get the f* out!” or walks out. Scenario 2: Man says, “I can’t be with someone who disrespects me. I’m leaving you.” Scenario 3: Man says, “I’m calling the police.”
Scenario 1 may result in a volatile woman’s committing an act of spite like the ones Daniel has been subject to (“He screamed at me and threatened me!”). Scenario 2 may result in the woman’s feeling jilted and bitter, and either turning to cajolery or lashing out in spite if wheedling failed. Scenario 3 may result in the woman’s turning the tables and accusing the man.
None of these conclusions should be possible; all of them are. In that sense, at least, legal process is the central issue. You can’t defy someone who’s willing to lie when there’s this process that’s such a potent weapon of vengeance and so easily exploited. The idea of “free choice” may be illusory (and especially so if there are children involved).
Scenario 4: Man says, “I’m leaving, but let me be very clear: You’re not to bother me again—don’t even talk about me—or I’ll break your f*ing neck. I mean it. I mean it.” This act goes against everything we’ve been told we’re supposed to do, and it includes an actual threat of violence. Of all the possible actions, though, this may be the one that could defuse a spiteful impulse.
This is grave commentary on the status quo.
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Matthew S. Chan
July 11, 2015
I am telling you, assuming he is telling his story accurately, there is a high probability there were screwball signs way before the violence started and his multiple RO’s. I would say the same thing if the genders were reversed. This isn’t entirely about victim-blaming. This is about waking up and solving problems.
I am pragmatic and I believe in Occam’s razor. You can argue all you want regarding wrongful RO’s as it appears to be your mission. However, sometimes the best way to not getting wrongful RO’s is to take preventive steps to get involved with people who are unstable and screwed up.
It is sort of like complaining someone busting into your house or car but you refuse to learn to take preventive measures like locking your doors and windows. Yes, thugs and crooks SHOULD NOT be busting into your car or house. It is obviously wrong. So, if someone wants to spend all their time trying to convince potential thugs and crooks from busting into your car or house, more power to you. It is way quicker and easier for me to just learn to put into some good locks and have good habits to stop (or deter) would be crooks and thugs from breaking into my house or car.
Or the revenge porn victims. They are fighting so hard for the right to take sexual pictures. How about TRYING NOT to take sexual pictures to begin with? Is there such a “need” to take naked pictures? It is a growing “epidemic” that is entirely preventable.
In any case, I don’t care enough to debate or argue this infinitum. I can’t save the world. I help those that are willing to help themselves. Part of that is waking up and smelling the coffee. I know how to fend and take care of myself to speak out and fight back. I know how to get and find help. And even if I was “victimized”, I would certainly learn very quickly not to get a repeat hit.
And if his story is the type you want to use to get people to be sympathetic to the ROA issues, I can tell you the ONLY people you will ever attract are other blind “victimy” types.
Even with my advocacy against copyright extortionists, we take a stand and say to first-time victims, they better get educated fast. They don’t get to repeatedly come back to the ELI well and complain about copyright extortionists hitting them and expect a lot of sympathy. WE discuss a lot about prevention, also. We aren’t fond of repeat offenders.
Getting an isolated RO is one thing, getting multiple RO’s from different women over a few years says something about the person getting it.
Likewise, getting one or two divorces is one thing and people understand that, getting 4 divorces is another thing and people won’t give a lot of sympathy.
But if you want to make everything an issue about wrongful ROA’s, that is your perogative. It is your website. In my opinion, not every ROA is wrongful. I don’t take the extremist view, I take a moderate view that leans in your direction.
If you want to cultivate a community of extreme “victimy” types without having some discussion of personal responsibility, then you will always have weak and unempowered people in the group. And this website and its members will never been seen as anything more than a whole bunch of people who “deserved” their RO’s.
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Moderator
July 13, 2015
ExtortionLetterInfo.com traffickers have been mailed a letter that demands money. The letters aren’t unlawful. The complaint is they’re cruel, right?
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Matthew S. Chan
July 13, 2015
The letters are not illegal in themselves. It is not illegal to send these letters and Oscar Michelen and I acknowledge this. However, we also acknowledge that potential victims have a DUTY to get educated in the matter. People can take action against it including NOT paying off these ridiculous letters and publicly attacking, complaining, reporting, or embarrassing the sender of such letters.
Because Oscar and I have no interest in spending time or working on political or legislative solutions, we focus on things that CAN be done.
Similarly, even if I did agree with the sentiment to entirely abolish RO’s,exactly who is going to do the work to contact each state’s legislative body? As you know, people can barely share their story anonymously.here online. What makes you think that any RO victim I have seen here do anything remotely close to making actual change in the RO system? I didn’t set out to change the system but my case is now part of GA legal history. It is now a solid precedent in helping prevent wrongful RO’s in Georgia. And because I have continued to speak about my case, may others are learning from the example from my case also. I didn’t play the shame or embarrassment card against myself. I considered it a badge of honor and a war story in standing up against copyright extortionists.
With MY approach, mindset, and strategies, you have choices and you can influence things.
I no longer sponsor the Liinda Ellis/Linda Lyrics/Dash Poem forum not because I fear Linda Ellis. It is a pointless effort for me because I discovered a group of victims that are irrationally and needlessly paralyzed with fear, shame, and embarrassment. And yet, the stock photo victim types have entirely different behavior. They complain, fight, pay money to us, thank us private and publicly, etc. They are different types of victims and Oscar and I are more attracted to helping and lending our name to those types.
So you see, you have someone like me who was willing to put himself in the line of fire, and with only 1 exception, the only people who supported me were the people who had the ELI (empowered and fightback) mindset, No Linda Ellis extortion victims ever did shit for me or even said one supportive word. It is very telling.
And like it or not, that is often how the world works. The people who get the support are the people who speak out vocally. With a couple of exceptions, the RO crowd reminds me a lot of the Linda Ellis victim types. Easily paralyzed with fear and they don’t inspire me or others to do very much. They want others to do the heavy-lifting and the work.
I am working on a report (which I hope will be completed by the end of 2015 in PDF and Kindle format at least) to outline tactics and strategies to fight wrongful RO’s. There will be a nominal charge for it. I have tried to encourage you to do a similar thing to monetize all the hard work you have done for years but you don’t seem to be enthusiastic about it. But that is your choice.
I am focusing on people who want to do their part in helping themselves. And if someone is willing to pay for my report, then that person has shown me that they are willing to do something for themselves. My time is valuable, and unlike you, I don’t care enough about the RO cause to just devote hours upon hours for free infinitum. However, you know I have freely contributed time to ROA by my many posts and commentaries which is far different from the mainstream posts I see. I have done my part to help. But now I am taking that up a notch with paid RO report project.
People can continue to be silent victims or they can start taking baby steps to take control of their lives and destiny. It is much easier to do so when you associate and team up with empowered and educated people (which I consider myself a member).
I will keep you apprised as the RO report project develops. As I said, I would like to get the 1st version out by the end of 2015. People will be surprised at some of the things I will be writing.
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Moderator
July 16, 2015
Definitely do. I feel less qualified to tell people how to win because I don’t have any positive experiences to report of my own. Some people I’ve given information to have reported it rewarded them, but it’s always a dice roll. I can tell you why an idea is stupid or how reasoning is careless, I can analyze rhetoric and tell you how it works, and I can point out implications and patterns, but I can’t offer a sure strategy for winning a crooked game refereed by big-headed bigots in executioners’ gowns.
FYI, Matthew, there are these “press release” sites (or there’s at least one) where, for example, a law firm might advertise a win. Then a journalist may pick up the press release and make a news story out of it. Here’s an example:
“Mom Jailed for Forcing Daughter to Falsely Accuse Dad of Sexually Abusing Her” (Geoffrey Simpson, Latest.com, 2015)
This story was just pulled from a press release from an attorney’s office. I haven’t investigated, but I’d wager anybody can post a “press release” about anything (like an e-book).
Now I’m wondering if a story like Neil Shelton’s couldn’t be offered up to the press this way.
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Matthew S. Chan
July 17, 2015
And that is another problem with the mindset you have adopted. There is no one or no lawyer that can “offer a sure strategy for winning”. And anyone who tries to claim that is full of shit. There is always uncertainty in a courtroom. There is no sure thing. At best, you can have a “high likelihood” of winning but no guarantees.
That is why I said I am offering tips, tactics, and strategies to win based entirely on my own experience, research, and analysis. I am not writing a recipe book. I am not giving legal advice. I am offering my opinions. It is incumbent upon others as to whether they want to pay for my opinion and whether or not they find use in it.
I am in the education and empowerment business, not the advice business.
Regarding press releases and the like, I have no interest for such strategies at this early juncture. I am using SEO, search-based, title-stacking, and strategic word-of-mouth marketing strategies to get the marketing started.
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Moderator
July 11, 2015
As to the two restraining orders, the point Daniel was making is that one falsehood may inspire a second, and the falsehoods carry weight, especially as a pair. They’re lies, but that doesn’t matter.
This, too, is grave commentary on the status quo.
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Moderator
July 11, 2015
You can see these as life lessons, but that doesn’t negate the wrongfulness of them (as you’ve said). You would say, these things don’t matter. But the conditioned view of society is the opposite. They’re preserved as public records because they do matter.
The irony is that Daniel is probably a sensitive man, and the lesson is don’t be.
There’s also the fact that these women were violent, and nothing excuses that. But the court orders do excuse that; they warrant violence and punish its victim. (Another irony: domestic violence is what inspired restraining order laws in the first place.)
The process excites bad impulses and excites the people who have bad impulses.
My own opinion, finally, is that the state has no business criminalizing bad life choices; they’re none of its business. It may be fair to criticize a man for loving a violent woman, but his having to tolerate the indignity of being pushed around is punishment enough without the state’s accusing him of abuse.
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Matthew S. Chan
July 11, 2015
RO’s are not criminal issues, they are civil issues. Civil issues (for better or for worse) always have a lower threshold to meet to win a case.
Courts and governments do have some rights to have mechanisms to deter “bad behavior.” before it reaches criminal behavior. If you don’t believe that, then you are taking an extremist view and you will never get heard. That is what the RO system was designed for albeit with some obvious flaws.
I am not sure if you are trying to say that the RO system needs to be done away with altogether to prevent abuse or that it should be changed/modified/improved to minimize abuse.
If you are saying getting rid of the RO system altogether, this is going to be one lonely group and I know I won’t be lending my voice to it and I won’t waste my time or energy engaging.
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Moderator
July 13, 2015
I don’t disagree with your perspectives, Matthew. I think recovery of self-reliance/confidence (or its attainment in the first place) can only be a healthy thing. Anything that encourages people to reclaim their volition is super.
Blaming people for being falsely blamed is a hard sell. So is punishing people for crimes that some guy or gal who doesn’t know them thinks they might commit.
The reason people share their stories (and only a few do) is to say that the state’s inviting itself into people’s bedrooms on the thinnest of pretexts is unconstitutional and un-American.
Many problems should be self-evident but they’re paid no attention, and they may be intentionally obscured. There really are people who makes their livings inflaming gender strife, and they stir their followers to political action. Their investment in this bullshit is total. It’s how they define themselves.
If you research criticism of the law in the area we’re talking about, you find concentrated denunciation starts appearing around 1995/96. Cathy Young’s reportage and commentaries, which began around then, don’t leave much room for challenge or contradiction. She’s an ace and always was. Over the intervening 20 years, you’ll find several other forceful writers take up torches, too. But the wall of apathy doesn’t budge. Propaganda prevails. Protesters wear out.
Everyone has a different standpoint, too. So there are no grounds for consensus except these: Fraud is possible and procedural abuse is destructive and risk-free.
Laws that reward fraud and ride roughshod over the Constitution have no business being laws.
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Matthew S. Chan
July 13, 2015
I like what Cathy Young writes and I agree with a lot of it. She is an influential writer on these types of issues especially against the extremest “femi-nazi” feminist stuff. Believe me, I hate the femi-nazi shit. There are a few women like Cathy who are brutally attacked and insulted by other female writers for taking a more balanced view.
Propaganda tends to prevail when you have “victimy” people who do nothing but skulk around and stay silent. It may be unfair but that is how it works. Most people who know me will learn to think twice before attacking me. Despite my many imperfections and flaws, I don’t shame easily, nor do I back down easily. I attack those that attack me and I have to go after the jugular, I will. But that is how I operate. I been around the block a few times.
As I said, even if I agree with you on some points (which I do), it is pointless to just harp on them without a “call to action” component. I am all about “call to action” on issues I stand for or believe in. I am about identifying the empowered doer’s from the paralyzed types.
I also recommend Christina Hoff Sommers who makes great Youtube videos. They get a lot of viewership.
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Moderator
July 11, 2015
This is one reality, Matthew:
The quoted writer, Ashe Schow of the Washington Examiner, is one of very few journalists I’ve heard express this awareness.
Thinking about these products of law as merely legal instruments of finite duration ignores their emotional significance, something you were blessedly spared because you weren’t betrayed or calculatedly lied about; the woman in your story blamed you for blaming her, and she hyped the fear factor. (Imagine, if you can, if she had said she’d found you in her yard abusing yourself in the bushes outside of her window. You might say, well, I’d just call her a liar. But this kind of accusation will haunt you and can be ruinous. Can you imagine having to answer these allegations in a police precinct and then in court? I think you know who’d get the benefit of the doubt, and anything you were actually charged with would license the press—under the First Amendment—to lift the accusation from the police blotter and publish it in the state paper. I’ve heard from people this has happened to.)
False accusation isn’t an act of god or a random misfortune; it’s willful. This makes the trauma much more acute.
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Matthew S. Chan
July 11, 2015
False accusations and lies have been around hundreds of years along with the legal system. You can never entirely do away with it unless you live like a hermit. One has to get educated so people know how to credibly refute such accusations. Some of it has NOTHING to do with legalese. It is just normal social, communication, and how you carry and represent yourself. If someone wants to exclusively fight on the legal front, then they better get some deep pockets to find a lawyer or they better get a law degree. Or maybe start making inroads with local and state legislators to change the system.
The many problems are self-evident. Where are the conversations about strategy or learning tactics to combat such things? Or is this website primarily about wallowing in victimhood in a mutual pity party?
I can piss and moan and complain and wallow just like anyone else but if there are no discussions about some level of personal responsibility or getting smarter along the way, then I probably need to leave and stay out.
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Moderator
July 11, 2015
There are some telling comments here, including one by a woman who says she was falsely accused of child rape. They’re depressing, besides, because they follow a post by a female lawyer that’s titled, “Can I Sue a person for False Accusations? YES.” I’ve never heard of this actually working.
This story echoes the one we’re discussing:
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