Women who are ravaged by false allegations of domestic violence or “violence-related” offenses—whether in civil restraining order prosecutions, or in domestic violence or family court cases—are a minority among the targets of lies.
Hunt up comments by female victims on the e-petition “Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence,” and there’s a good chance those comments will contain an emphatic line like “This happens to women, too.”
Men who’ve been falsely accused may be unaware that the community of the damned includes members of both sexes. The women who support those men—e.g., girlfriends, wives, sisters, or mothers—may also be unaware. Alternatively, their compassion may be numbed by the consciousness that restraining order, stalking, and domestic violence laws exist for women, or their compassion may be jaded by the conviction that when women are falsely accused of abuse, the implications aren’t as severe, which may be true.
This doesn’t mean, however, that the women who are falsely impugned feel any less anguished, betrayed, mortified, or indignant. Psychic pain is subjective, and the privations than ensue from false allegations of abuse—loss of access to children, property, home, employment, etc.—may be exactly the same, whether the accused is male or female.
What we call “society” doesn’t care to acknowledge that laws enacted to curb violence against women are ever abused to inflict harm (this “society” is really the people who mold public opinion, like government reps, journalists, and various talking heads on TV; society proper only knows what it’s told). Men who’ve complained of judicial crookedness and mistreatment for years or decades are still widely discounted, dismissed, or openly derogated in accordance with established dogma.
The phrase men’s rights continues to be framed with quotation marks (often contemptuously), and that includes in the mainstream press. Those who advocate for “men’s rights” may be called “rape deniers,” “anti-feminists,” or simply “misogynists.” Men’s rights activists have achieved some sympathetic traction, particularly recently, but popular admission that “women’s law” is easily and widely exploited by fraud is still a ways off.
Admitting, then, that women are destroyed by laws that are supposed to protect them is, for a host of reasons, taboo. Acknowledgment that the laws are doing the opposite of protecting women would mean their justification is false. It would besides implicate the system itself in the abuse of women, and be politically embarrassing and compromising,
If it were admitted, finally, that processes for women can be abused to falsely incriminate them, this question would inevitably follow: How much easier must it be for those processes to be abused to falsely incriminate men?
Feminists and feminist-oriented rights advocacy groups like the ACLU can’t afford to speak on behalf of female victims of procedural abuses, because that would be to call attention to the lax standards, inherent biases, and general corruptness of policies they’ve championed (and for which they congratulate themselves). It would be to discredit “all they’ve accomplished.” Criticizing victimized women would likewise be to their discredit. So they just avert their eyes.
Men who complain of procedural abuses are broadly lumped together and demonized as a group; women who complain of the same are exiled to their own private hells.
Copyright © 2014 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
izabella
January 27, 2015
I LIVE IN SOUTHWEST FLORIDA. I GOT MARRIED ALMOST FOUR YEARS AGO. MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS. THIS ALL CAME TO AN ABRUPT STOP AFTER WE WERE BOTH WATCHING A MOVIE AND DRINKING WINE. HE HAS AN EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON FROM HIS FIRST MARRIAGE. HE HAS ALWAYS TOLD ME AND SHOWN ME THAT HE COMES FIRST. WE HAVE TWO SMALL BABIES TOGETHER. WE HAD AN ARGUMENT WHERE HE STARTED TO VERBALLY ASSAULT ME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS 13 YEAR OLD SON. I WANTED TO LEAVE TO MIAMI BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HE WAS. I LEFT EVERYTHING BEHIND FOR HIM. I HAVE VERY FEW FRIENDS UP HERE SO THE ONLY OTHER PLACE I CAN GO TO IS MIAMI. I ASKED HIM TO STOP. HE KEPT ON CALLING ME THESE HORRIBLE NAMES AND SHOUTING PROFANITIES AT ME. AT ONE POINT WE WERE IN OUR BEDROOM AND HE KEPT TELLING ME TO GET THE F&*! OUT OF HIS HOME THAT I WAS A WHORE. I PLEADED HIM TO STOP, I GRABBED THE SLEEVE OF HIS TSHIRT AND HE MOVED HIS ARM AWAY AND HE DRAGGED ME THROUGH THE FLOOR. I SCRATCHED HIS ARM WHEN I WENT DOWN. I STILL PLEADED WITH HIM TO STOP. I KEPT CRYING. HE SAID HE WAS LEAVING TO A HOTEL, HE GRABBED HIS SON. I HAD THE BABIES IN THE CAR PARKED BY OUR MAIL BOX. HE TEXT MY FAMILY AND TOLD THEM I WAS DRUNK OUT OF MY MIND THAT I HAD ASSAULTED HIM. I LEFT AND WAITED FOR MY FAMILY AND THE SHOPPING CENTER ACROSS OUR COMMUNITY. HE KEPT ON WITH THE THREATS ABOUT CALLING THE POLICE AND TELLING THEM I KIDNAPPED OUR BABIES, HOW HE WAS GOING TO SEND ME TO JAIL. AND TAKE THE KIDS FROM ME. I CALLED THE POLICE BECAUSE I WANTED TO PICK UP A FEW THINGS FROM THE HOUSE FOR ME AND THE BABIES. HE CALLED THEM AND TOLD THEM I HAD ASSAULTED HIM. THEY ARRESTED ME. I HAVE NEVER BEEN AWAY FROM THE BABIES. I STOPPED WORKING AFTER I GOT PREGNANT FROM OUR FIRST SON AND STARTED WORKING FOR OUR FAMILY BUSINESS. I BEEN THE BABY’S PRIMARY CARE TAKER UNTIL HE WANTED ME TO FIND A NANNY SO I COULD WORK MORE HOURS IN OUR BUSINESS. I BEEN THE ONE THAT IS ALWAYS AT HOME WITH THE BABIES.
I WAS IN JAIL FOR TWO DAYS AND ONE NIGHT. AFTER LEAVING JAIL I HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER WHICH MEANT I COULDN’T GO HOME. THE ONLY CONTACT WAS THROUGH A THIRD PARTY AND ONLY ABOUT THE KIDS. AT FIRST HE SOUNDED ALMOST REGRETFUL. AS THE DAYS WENT BY WE HAD AN AGREEMENT ABOUT THE BABIES. HE THEN WANTED TO KEEP OUR TODDLER FOR TWO NIGHTS A WEEK EVEN THOUGH HE HAD BOTH BABIES DURING THE DAY MONDAY TO FRIDAY FROM 9-10 AM TO 4-5 PM. I AGREED BECAUSE I WAS SCARED THAT HE WAS GOING TO KEEP THE BABIES. THE SECOND WEEK HE DID THE SAME BUT GOT MAD BECAUSE I WANTED TO TAKE OUR TODDLER TO THE DOCTOR. HE STARTED THREATENED ME WITH KEEPING OUR TODDLER LONGER. HE DIDN’T DO THE SAME FOR OUR SEVEN MONTH OLD BECAUSE SHE’S A BREASTFED BABY.
LAST FRIDAY HE ASKED IF WE HAD THE SAME SCHEDULE FOR THE WEEK. I SAID YES. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THEM SUNDAY. WHEN OUR THIRD PARTY ASKED ABOUT IT ON SUNDAY HE TOLD HIM THAT THE BABIES WOULD STATY WITH HIM FOR MOST OF THE WEEK. I CALLED A LAWYER TO FILE FOR DIVORCE. HE IS CONSTANTLY USING THE BABIES TO CONTROL ME. HE NEVER, CONTACTED THE THIRD PARTY TO GET THE BABIES ON SUNDAY. THERE WAS NO CONTACT TO SEE THE BABIES. HE FILED TUESDAY AND INCLUDED THE BABIES. I AM NOT SURE IF MY ATTORNEY IS DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN. I AM NEW AT THIS AND MY PARENTAL RIGHTS ARE BEING COMPLETELY IGNORED BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND’S LIES. HE GOT THE RESTRAINING ORDER BASED ON LIES. I NEED HELP. MY 7 MONTH OLD IS A BREASTFED BABY AND SHE DOESN’T DRINK FORMULA. I DON’T KNOW WHEN I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE MY BABIES. THE ATTORNEY SAYS HE’S REQUESTING A PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION. ALL OF OUR FRIEND’S SAY HE IS A NARCISSIST. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HIS MANIPULATIONS OF THE COURT SYSTEM. HE HAS THE MONEY AND THE MEANS. I BEEN WORKING AT HOME IN OUR BUSINESS WHICH I HELPED TO EXPAND AND HE NEVER PUT ANY MONEY IN OUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT. HE ONLY PUT ENOUGH TO COVER FOR BASIC BILLS. I HAD TO USE MY PERSONAL CREDIT CARDS FOR GROCERIES, CLOTHES FOR THE KIDS, ETC.
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ann
January 14, 2015
Thank you for posting this acknowledgement. I am a woman and I regularly follow your blog ever since I had a restraining order issued with an emergency custody order that was accomplished through duplicitous means by a female relative with a personality disorder. It is great and essential work you are doing here. It utterly shocked me you can just waltz down to court one day, tell a story, and destroy a life or lives in a matter of minutes without consequence. The other point I would make is that it’s not just women who get the blows of this, but their children too if they are the primary carers. The cascade effect is immeasurable. The only thing you can do is counter sue for abuse of process, if you have any strength or money left.
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Moderator
January 15, 2015
You’re welcome, Ann, and if you do sue, I hope it avails you. I’ve stopped encouraging people to try this, because it’s so taxing, and the results seem more often to compound their despair. I’m prepping another post directed to a female audience, because I think “gender loyalty” interferes with a lot of women’s recognizing that the status quo is maintained by (predominately) female advocacy. A lot of women are accused by men, so they naturally want to blame their accusers and side with feminist advocates (who blame men for a diversity of ills). A process that can be exploited will be, though, whether by men or women.
Here are two horror stories from a man and a woman (both accused by men) that have come in in the last three days, and both commenters report being on the verge of suicide:
http://restrainingorderabuse.com/what-is-restraining-order-abuse/#comment-53944
http://restrainingorderabuse.com/what-is-perjury/#comment-54247
This shouldn’t be possible, let alone legal.
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Moderator
January 18, 2015
You’re so right, too, about the fallout suffered by children from legal conflict. Maybe this would be a good thing to write about. It’s just that children are never heard from. They’re the true “voiceless victims.” If you’d care to write about it, incidentally, Ann, I’d be glad to share what you had to say as a post. My own case wasn’t one of domestic strife—my accuser was just someone I found outside of my house one day; I knew her all of three months—so many of the things that you’re racked by may be ones I’m not fully hip to.
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nodakwc
December 30, 2014
Domestic Enemies Make, Support, Enforce, and Defend Un-Constitutional Laws.
Wrongfully Convicted, GunRights Issues, Too Many Laws, Corruption in Law…
Tired of the Lies and Myths? Check out these startling facts.
DID YOU KNOW:
Criminals and mental illness are NOT the majority of murderers.
America is the leading jailer in the history of all human civilizations.
Despite being Innocent over 95% are forced to plead guilty rather than go to trial.
At least 12% of People convicted of ‘Serious’ crimes are INNOCENT.
(Less serious crimes much higher % innocent wrongly convicted.)
In the 1990s, a federal inquiry found that DNA testing, then new, was clearing 25% of primary suspects.
America is NOT Free. USA Citizens are denied their Constitutional Rights.
The US Constitution guaranteees every citizen the right to possess firearms yet thousands are in prisons for owning a firearm.
Some Government & Legal Officials, and many Laws are domestic enemies, traitors, perjures, and in violation to the US Constitution.
Domestic Violence industry and laws are a Scam.
1 in 10 falsely accused of child abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence.
Women perpetrate over 70% of interpersonal violence against men.
Women murder family members 60% of the time, while men murder family only 20% of the time.
Women use weapons in 80% of their assaults, while only 25% for men.
Up to 80% of domestic violence allegations against men are false allegations.
Women are 9 times more likely to call the police than men in domestic violence.
1 in 3 falsely arrested for domestic violence nationally.
Nearly 1 out of every 2 falsely arrested for domestic violence in N.D.
Law Enforcement Officers commit the most violent assault crimes, the most sexual assault crimes, the most fatal excessive force crimes, and police domestic violence is two to four times higher than the general population.
North Dakota Wrongfully Convicted
https://sites.google.com/site/nodakwc/
https://sites.google.com/site/nodakwc/police-o/misconduct-reports-december-2014
https://sites.google.com/site/nodakwc/domestic-violence-reports/domestic-violence-reports
https://sites.google.com/site/nodakwc/domestic-violence-scam
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Moderator
December 29, 2014
Consider this woman’s account, submitted yesterday:
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