Those victimized by liars who abuse restraining order and domestic violence laws often blame their judges. It’s natural. They’re the ones who deprive the wrongly accused of dignity, liberty, property, and family—and theirs are the words that echo in the memory and grate on the nerves during the empty hours.
Lawmakers it must be remembered, though, are the enablers.
Judges may be careless. They may even be cruel. But legislators are clueless.
To give an example, consider this story reported today in Hartford, Connecticut’s The Courant (August 25, 2014):
Domestic violence victims need to have a simpler process of applying for restraining orders and better communication with the agencies that handle them, a legislative subcommittee said Monday.
To that end, the subcommittee of the task force on restraining orders agreed to recommend a streamlined version of restraining order applications and an accompanying checklist to pave the way for better communication among victims, marshals and courts.
The Connecticut legislature purposes to make simpler yet a process that’s already so “streamlined” that accusers don’t have to prove anything.
CONN. GEN. STAT. ANN. § 46b-15(b): “The court, in its discretion, may make such orders as it deems appropriate for the protection of the applicant and such dependent children or other persons as the court sees fit.… If an applicant alleges an immediate and present physical danger to the applicant, the court may issue an ex parte order granting such relief as it deems appropriate.”
This literally means that if a domestic partner merely alleges s/he feels in danger, which only takes a few seconds to do, the court is authorized to order the accused to be forcibly ejected from his or her home by armed agents of the state—even if the accused owns that home and has lived in it all of his or her life. In other words (again, for example), it’s entirely possibly for someone who has no home to move in with someone else, falsely accuse him or her of abuse, and for all intents and purposes seize possession of his or her home. Other obvious motives for lying are malice or gaining custody of kids.
No evidence of anything is required by the law, which is a blank check that authorizes accusers to say whatever they feel like and judges to do whatever they feel like.
Members of the legislative subcommittee referenced in The Courant article reportedly expect to improve their understanding of the flaws inherent in the restraining order process by taking a field trip. They plan “a ‘ride along’ with the representative of the state marshals on the panel…to learn more about how restraining orders are served.”
The urgent problem with restraining orders as they see it is ensuring that more of them are successfully delivered.
The article cites concerns expressed by the executive director of the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence “about the complicated process domestic violence victims face when they apply for restraining orders.”
The “complicated process” to have someone evicted shoeless from his or her home in the Connecticut winter and prohibited access to his or kids based on an allegation is filling out a form.
The Connecticut legislators “decided to remove the instructions in small print at the top of the form, which start with the outdated suggestion that the applicant ‘use a typewriter.’ Applicants will have access to a separate sheet of paper that has step-by-step instructions.”
Authorizing the court “in its discretion” to fill out orders “as it deems appropriate” would seem more expeditious and economical to this writer.
Copyright © 2014 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
JLKM@aol.com
August 28, 2014
Please go to facebook and set up a “restraining orders and bully tactics” so we can all friend it
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Moderator
August 29, 2014
Julie, see if you can get something going with the author of this page: “Stop Restraining Order Abuse.”
She was very much in earnest a few weeks ago. I’ve haven’t had time to check on her progress, but I know the wall of silence is very demoralizing. People lose steam fast, because would-be supporters are dispirited and broken (most people who’ve been falsely accused probably aren’t combing the Internet for a support group). Someone like her can invest a week in putting up a Facebook page only to have it receive no response whatever. It’s soul-sapping.
It could be that collecting “friends” and “likes” may motivate change—especially if someone’s willing to take the time to rally people together (which takes a big investment)—but I really think more people who’ve been hurt by legal manipulations need to voice their stories and pain. People literally think it’s just a case of bad guys complaining about being punished (and I’m sure that’s the idea that feminists promote, possibly because they don’t know any better). I read one man’s story on a petition this week. He said he would have thought men’s complaining about false allegations of domestic violence was nothing more than batterers’ trying to get out of attending mandatory “anger management” classes—until he was falsely accused himself. He sees things differently today.
Tell your story on some petitions—or start a petition of your own (can this be done on Facebook?). What passes for “dialogue” right now is mainly sniping. And I’m sure that’s how some of what I’ve said is perceived. It’s awfully hard to sound neutral and be sensitive to everyone’s perspectives when you’re using up your life talking about state abuses that should never occur in the first place. And the people who do talk neutrally don’t seem to exert a great deal of influence toward reform (bless them, anyway, though).
I think the ideal is talking pointedly but with a degree of balance that preserves you from sounding like a crank. It’s all about perception.
Encouraging is that 200 to 250 people each week visit a page on this blog called, “What Is Restraining Order Abuse?” Just getting an idea like this into the social conversation may make a difference in time. The problem is just too obscure right now. More people need to emerge from the safety of the shadows and exercise their voices.
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